Had the opportunity to drive cross country with my family here recently.  Was inspired to create the following list, in a style admittedly similar to but not in actionable infringement of one of David Letterman’s Late Show Top Ten.  Here it goes [Disclaimer: the conditions described are fictional-ish, and are here shared for strictly humorous purposes with no libelous intent; any accidental resemblance to actual establishments is purely coincidental and not subject to prosecution or suit]:

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT NOT BE STAYING AT THE CLASSIEST HOTEL IN TOWN click to continue…

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Road Rage- Johnson County Edition

by dunce two on July 2, 2014

road rageDriving home from work last night, I stopped at the last stop light before I turn into my neighborhood.   A few seconds later, glancing in my rear view mirror, I noticed a car pull up behind me.  A newer Chevy Malibu.  White.  And I happened to notice that there was a girl/woman driving the Chevy Malibu.  And I also noticed that she was wearing expensive-looking sunglasses, that she had an unnatural but not cheap-looking tan, and that her brunette hair was up in a sassy ponytail.  But more than any of this, I noticed her mouth, more specifically her lips, and even more specifically the word those lips appeared to be articulating.  click to continue…

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“Can’t and Won’t” Stop Going to Book Stores

July 1, 2014

My favorite thing to do (within reason) is browse in bookstores.  I like looking, seeing the books, watching people, watching what other people are reading/buying/looking at.  I found myself in a bookstore recently (would find myself there daily, if I had my druthers).  Was grabbed by the cover of Lydia Davis’s collection of short stories Can’t […]

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What is nostalgia?

June 26, 2014

In a book I have been reading recently, White Noise by Don DeLillo, a character named Murray posits: I don’t trust anybody’s nostalgia but my own. Nostalgia is a product of dissatisfaction and rage. It’s a settling of grievances between the present and the past. The more powerful the nostalgia, the closer you come to […]

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Eleanor & Park- Book Review

June 25, 2014

Not liking Eleanor & Park feels a little bit like kicking a puppy. And yet… Okay, I need to just stop reading YA. That’s a big part of my problem. There is nothing in the genre for me. It’s too cheesy, too angsty, too dumbed down. No offense to anyone writing the stuff. I’m just […]

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Bittersweet

June 24, 2014

Sitting down to dinner, I find myself staring at the side of my son’s face.  He doesn’t know I’m watching. It’s a child’s face.  A boy’s face.  But not a baby’s face.  Not even a young child’s face.  He’s nine.  His skin is smooth.  And soft, still.  Perfect.  But it won’t always be.  For an […]

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“One More Thing” by B.J. Novak

June 24, 2014

It’s hard to rate a book of short stories with a single “out of 5 stars” rating. Some of these stories I would definitely give 5 stars (e.g. “Sophia,” “One of These Days We Have to Do Something About Willie,” “Closure”). There were a couple in the beginning that were pretty raunchy. The J.C. Audetat […]

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Dunce Academy is Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 24, 2014

I know, I know, we were sorely missed, and you didn’t know what you would do without us.  But DA is back, and better than ever!!!!!!!!!!!  So many pent up ideas; so many intelligent thoughts.  So many questions.  Sometimes you never know what a good thing you have until it’s gone.  Prepare to be amazed!

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“S”

May 6, 2014

Oh, “S.”  I wanted to love you.  And I did love you.  In some ways.  In other ways, you left me numb, and a little bit confused.  In yet other ways, I hated you with a passion that I’m not quite sure where it came from, or why, but it is there, and it is […]

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Anatomy of a Guilt Trip

May 6, 2014

You start with the premise that you are doing or not doing something someone else wishes you were not doing or doing.  Never mind reasons why.  Never mind whether there is any definitive correlation between what you are actually doing or not doing and what they think you are not doing or doing.  Just start […]

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