Cashier Commentary: Enough is Enough!

"I wonder what he's going to do with that."

One of my biggest laments about my job is that I don’t get any quality interaction with people.  As a result, I am sometimes jealous of those who do.  Having worked some retail and customer service in my past, I know that’s not all fun and games either.  But the day goes faster when you can talk to people and make them smile.

HOWEVER, I have noticed a trend that I cannot stomach.  And that is cashiers (particularly grocery cashiers) commenting on every single thing you buy.

For example, there is one cashier at the grocery store near my work, and she has a comment for everything I purchase, no matter what it is.  If I buy a Red Bull she will ask “oh, headache?” or “rough night last night?”  If I buy a protein bar, “that’s not all you’re eating for breakfast is it?” or “how can you eat those things?  They taste like chalk!”  It’s like “lady, you’re not my mom, doctor, or dietician.  And frankly, it’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what I eat, what I drink, and especially what kind of night I had last night!!!”  Of course that’s not really what I say; it’s usually something more like “you know it!”  Because I try to say “you know it!” as frequently as possible.

I did say something once.  When I was in college, my roommate and I were making cheeseburgers, and realized we didn’t have an onion.  So we went to the store to buy one.  And nothing else.  So I went to check out, put the onion on the conveyor-belt thingy, and the cashier, just some punk college-looking kid herself said (very sarcastically) “Ohhh, big spender!”  To which I responded “ha ha ha, ha ha ha (fake laughing) (then, meaner than I intended) Shut up!”  I don’t know why I decided to go off on her, but it’s like I said above, enough is enough! (the “mean” thing actually ended up back-firing on me in this particular instance; for some reason she actually liked it, and ended up asking me out, which resulted in a very awkward double date where we went out to the sand dunes and had a bonfire and everyone was making out and things got very, very sketchy, and I wondered if I was going to make it back to civilization with my dignity et al. intact).

Is this just me?  Or does the fact that we are choosing their store to spend our money somehow give them license to launch this intrusive interrogation?

Don’t get me wrong.  I see people buying all kinds of crazy stuff at the store.  And sure I wonder what someone could possibly need a 9-volt battery and whipped cream and a feather duster for at 6 o’clock in the morning.  But somehow I manage to refrain from asking.  Because I’m pretty sure they don’t want to answer.  And I’m pretty sure I don’t want them to.

Let’s face it, sometimes some awkward stuff needs to be purchased (more awkward than protein bars and energy drinks, certainly).  I’m all for friendly conversation and human interaction, but some things don’t need or want to be questioned or explained.  Am I being too sensitive or alarmist, or is this a thing?

4 thoughts on “Cashier Commentary: Enough is Enough!

  1. It’s not just you. when I got to buy prophylactics, whoever it is always says, “Wow, you’re a pretty big guy. I never would have guessed you need the XXXXXXX small.”

    So far I haven’t been brave enough to talk back to them.

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