Had a dream last night. I was standing in line to go to the pool. It was a large pool with Olympic diving platforms and boards. The line to get in was extremely long. Somehow I knew that this girl I had a crush on in high school would be inside. I was both the age I was in high school and the age I am now (you know how dreams go). I finally got into the locker room, and one of the toilets had overflowed and there was water everywhere (I don’t know if this is germane to anything, but it was a relatively brief dream, so I can afford to spare no details).
Finally got changed, finally got into the pool area, and though it had been a long line to get in, there actually weren’t that many people in the pool. The girl above referenced (“GAR”) and a couple of her friends (also from high school) were waiting for me in the corner of the pool closest to the dressing/locker rooms, as if they had been anticipating my arrival. I got into the pool and the GAR put her arm around my neck, and lifted her body up so I could carry her in that weightless in the water/damsel in distress way (which, incidentally, is further than I ever got with her in high school).
So I was carrying her in the water, at a diagonal towards the diving platforms/boards. Her hair smelled liked strawberries and coconut. Her skin was very cool and very soft against me, and that was very nice. The girls were chattering amongst themselves, but I recall no specific content from their discussion. We got to the diving platforms, the GAR looked up at me with (we’ll say) blue eyes, and said “why don’t you do a handstand flip dive for me?” The unspoken but clear implication being that doing so would show how undying my devotion was and what have you.
One additional detail: with normal diving platforms, I assume that the platform is flush with the edge of the pool. Not these. They were set about ten feet back, such that if you ran fast enough and jumped hard enough, you could maybe make it safely into the pool. But your chances of surviving a “handstand flip dive” (whatever that is) were decidedly less than slim.
The funny thing is, and just to prove that the me in the dream was at least partially the sixteen-year-old version of me, I actually considered it. There was an internal debate/struggle between the two versions of myself. High school me thought “maybe if I went to the highest possible platform and pushed as hard as I could I would have enough force and time to extend beyond the edge of the pool. Even if I got hurt a little, that would just earn me more points with her.” How one gets “hurt a little” when jumping from an extremely high platform and not quite making it completely into the pool I don’t know. But 16-year-old me seriously considered it.
The current version of me (at least in the dream) was nearly paralyzed with fear, and reasoned that “you don’t end up with her anyway, so this is all really, really stupid.”
I wonder what the real me would have done.
I never did jump. At least not before the end of the dream. I wonder how it ended.
I also wonder why it is that young guys doing crazy (i.e. stupid) things is somehow supposed to establish devotion. Why young girls seem to expect it, and why young guys keep doing it. Well, I mean, I guess as long as girls keep wanting/expecting it, there is no real mystery why guys will keep doing it, for reasons that do not need to get delved into in any too great detail here. Very little immediate relevance as I am at an age and stage where doing physically dangerous things is not smiled upon at all, at least not by others. Just a curiosity.