This time I was in an antique shop that was adjacent to an auction house. Some of the items up for auction were in the store. When an item was bid on and then purchased, I was to deliver the item to the auction house. I was standing in the open door to the shop, facing the street. The day was bright and sunny, the city busy, and foreign somehow. Like a cross between southern Italy and Morocco.
The auction was slow to start, and I was bored, and started looking around the shop. Some friends came in in jovial spirits, and were also looking around the shop. At least one of them had been drinking.
In the middle of the shop, there was a huge glass aquarium containing, on closer inspection, an enormous (probably 18-foot) snake of some kind (python/boa constrictor, something like that). In the cage, presumably as food, was a giant hawk that I guess the proprietor of the store had placed in there before he left.
“Dude, you should totally hold that hawk?” a friend said.
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah, man, do it. That would be awesome!” the other friend said.
“I think it’s supposed to be the snake’s dinner,” I said.
“I think the snake’s asleep,” the first friend said. “Just pick it up for a second and then put it back.”
So I opened up a compartment on the cage, and reached in for the hawk. It was very docile, and jumped willingly onto my arm. I just about had it out of the cage when the snakes head was a lightning-fast blur for my arm/the bird. The bird was completely gone inside the snake’s mouth, as was my arm up to the elbow. I was yanking it back as hard as I could, but was making no progress. My friends were freaking out, yelling “DUDE!” really loud, and knocking over like brass hookahs and whatever else you would find in a Moroccan/southern Italian antique shop. Just then, a very stereotypically Moroccan-type proprietor figure ran in and shouted in heavy accent “You must RE-LAX!” “Relax?!?!?!” I screamed. “This thing is about to rip my arm off!!!” “Relax and gently pull,” he said. “Relax and gently pull.” And I did relax. And it slipped right out. What a relief.
Later in the dream, or maybe in a separate mini-dream, I was at another friend’s house for dinner, and it was all very normal, except they had this humongous and very pink pig living in their house like a domestic pet. Only he wasn’t a normal pig. He looked normal except he had these huge boar-like tusks, and he kept skewering their dog and sending him squealing and bloody into the corner. And they couldn’t figure out why I was hesitant to pet the pig.
These are the things that go on inside my head when I am sleeping.