Turn Signal MotherF#@*er, Do You Use It?

hand turn signal

Drivers that don’t use their turn signals infuriate me.

Back in Driver’s Ed, we learned the old hand turn signals (pictured above) that nobody uses anymore either. We also learned about the nifty turn indicator stalk on the left hand side of the steering wheel that operates the tunr signal lights. Although this control stalk  has now been burdened with other functions such as headlights (another post topic: Low Beams MotherF#@*er, Do You Use Them?) it is still at root the means to signal other drivers the direction you intend to travel. Why is it so difficult to use? Push it down to go left. Push it up to go right. (Does everything need to be voice activated these days?)

No turn signal means you intend to go straight. So why are you sitting in the middle of the lane, stopped? There’s no traffic light. There’s no pedestrian. WTF? Oh, left hand turn, huh? Waiting for traffic to clear. Glad I am freakin’ psychic. You’re driving a  $100 K Porsche freakin’ Cayenne. Was the turn indicator in the option package you friggin’ didn’t buy, a-hole?

Please,If you couldn’t afford the turn signal kit on your ride, show the rest of the world some r-e-s-p-e-c-t and roll like an OG: use hand signals.

Next time: “Parallel Parking MotherF#@*er, Learn To Do It!”

6 thoughts on “Turn Signal MotherF#@*er, Do You Use It?

  1. This reminds me of a pet peeve of mine–improper use of the turn lane. If one is going to take advantage of the turn lane, one should maneuver one’s ENTIRE CAR into that lane in an expedient manner, the point being to prevent one’s left turn from impeding the flow of traffic. If, instead, one slows down to 10 mph and then absentmindedly drifts into the turn lane, leaving half of the a$$ end of one’s car hanging out in the driving lane, the entire point of the exercise is lost!!!! I am enraged just thinking about it.

  2. We could probably devote an entire blog to “_________ _______, Mother F#@*er, ______ ______ ____?” entries. Strike that. We could probably devote an entire blog just to driving-related “_________ _______, Mother F#@*er, ______ ______ ____?” entries. There is a lot of bad driving out there.

    Turn signal, or lack thereof, is one of the most annoying. Up there with turning-lane abusers and signal-free lane shifters. Other grievances:

    (1) People that ride up right on your back bumper on the freeway, going 20 miles over the speed limit, that pass you in a flourish when you “finally” get over into the right lane, only to then pull right in front of you in the right lane, and immediately slow to 5 miles under the speed limit;

    (2) People that text while they drive (you know who you are, and you’re not multi-tasking as well as you think you are) (yes, good driving does require at least occasional eye-contact with the road);

    (3) 4-way-stop violators, both short- and rolling stoppers (short-stoppers being those who stop 10 or more feet before the line so as to have stopped first in time, thus giving them some imaginary right to proceed through the intersection first, though you stopped just before them and actually at the line of the intersection) (rolling stoppers being those that never actually stop, thus rendering hazy who should have the right of way, but fear of having your own law-abiding car smashed by their never-not-quite-not-moving car allowing them to win the day).

    All of these violations make me want to go out and by some cheap, ancient monstrosity of a beater car (uninsured, of course), and cruise around just looking for offenders. Come to a rolling stop in front of me: you get T-boned; leave the a$$ end of your car hanging out in the turn lane: bye-bye a$$ end of your car; no turn signal: I’m just going to go ahead and assume that you do want to go straight, and I am going to (generously, I think) use my car to assist you in going straight, with extreme prejudice. Should you at some point decide you no longer wish to go straight, you better hope your emergency brake works. Or. Here’s a thought. MAYBE YOU SHOULD USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL!!!

  3. While driving on the highway over the weekend, I watched a girl in a car in front of me nearly drift into the side of the eighteen wheeler that was driving in the lane next to hers. I am quite sure she was texting. My only thought was “Well, this is going to be interesting…”

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