You Missed a Spot!

So I missed a spot.  Again.  Shaving.  I don’t know why this is surprising.  I miss the same spot every day (right side of my neck, right under the chin).  Well, I guess I shouldn’t say every day.  And that’s part of the problem.  If you shave every day, or even every other day, you can miss all kinds of spots and, at least with me, no one will notice.  The problem here is that it had been more than one day.  More than two days.  More like a week (it was a good look, don’t worry; very Miami Vice).  But now I have this very conspicuous neck mustache, and I don’t know what to do. Continue reading

How To Grow More Facial Hair

fu manchuDunce Two, a word please. Do you know how to grow more facial hair? I ask because it is still chilly here at night and my face freezes. In the past I have tried to grow a Van Dyke, various chops, a Fu Manchu, and every other facial permutation you can think of. And many that you can’t, but I won’t hold that against you for now.

Here is the situation: I can grow big fat wolverine sideburns, and a throat beard that would make Brigham Beard weep. But my upper lip and lower chin stay nearly as bald and smooth as a porcelain doll’s cheek that has been combined with a baby’s butt. Continue reading