The Matter with “Moist”

I don’t know if you have noticed, but there are a lot of people out there that dislike like this word.  Actually, “dislike” might be a little bit too mild.  What’s another word for “dislike”?  Detest?  Loathe?  Abhor?  Maybe more than any other single word I have ever encountered.  Like with clowns, I recognize other people’s attitudes, but don’t share them.  No personal problem with the word.  But I have seen people, and they casually overhear a phrase like “moist banana nut bread,” and their hands go all clammy, their ears clinch up like they are hearing nails on a chalkboard, and they go shrieking for the nearest exit. Continue reading

Big Brother, Where Art Thou?

Recently, our town has been inundated with these red light cameras.  I find this offensive on a number of levels.  On the one hand, sure, I’m sure there were studies done by the highway patrol and various other national agencies, research organizations, and legislators.  I don’t doubt that somewhere there are stacks and stacks of impressive charts and graphs about decreases in fatal crashes and improvements in highway safety and blah, blah, blah.  But at what cost?  Continue reading

Stuff. Book processor stuff.

This happened to me the other day, in my shop of all places.  And it was not pleasant.

In walks this guy who, for as long as I have known him, has always thought that he was so freaking cool.  Everything he said was funny.  Everything he did was awesome.  Everything he thought was brilliant.  And every girl he wanted, he got.

In his mind, anyway.  Continue reading

No more no more no more no more

kitten

No

Humbly report that most anger mystifies me. It makes me itch. It hurts my head and it hurts my hair, which I don’t have enough of, largely because of how angry every is, and for no good reason! No more no more no more. Not me.

What’s the problem? you’re asking. Well how would you like it if you went out for a walk and some imbecile bumped into you because he was too busy jabbering into a phone? Huh? I know!

I’ll admit, I wasn’t paying as much attention as I ought–I saw a cloud in the shape of a marshmallow Peep, which reminds me–Easter is coming. Easter under the bridge is a rather sad affair, so perhaps I’ll think of something else. Continue reading